The Final Soundtrack, in I Love Led Zeppelin
“Who hasn’t entertained some sort of death fantasy?”
HomeCookin’ in The Stranger
“Opening the box went fine, but everything went downhill at ‘simmer.’”
How D’ya Smoke Pot and Stay Out of Jail? in I Love Led Zeppelin
“What’s a responsible stoner to do?”
Wheels, from Seattle Post-Intelligencer
“My first car-love was my ’68 Mercury Cougar.”
How to be a Fabulous Fag Hag, starring Margaret Cho, in I Love Led Zeppelin
“Practice arching one eyebrow.”
“Are You Poor?” Possible Responses, in The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian
“Pore’? You mean, do I have pores?”
The Holiday Stress Test!!, in Glamour Magazine
“Scream until you pass out.”
How D’ya Sew an Amputated Finger Back On??in I Love Led Zeppelin
“July 4 is the worst day of the year for a hand surgeon on call.”
Thanksgiving gag
Remember drawing turkeys by tracing your hand?
Valentines For Singles, in The Stranger
“For My Vibrator: I’m never bummin’ / When you’re hummin’ / In my plumbin’.”