Halloween rules.

I adore Halloween. I love theme parties anyway, and it’s a huge, creepy masquerade, and there’s candy and pumpkins and houses decked out with cobwebs and jointed skeletons. Joy!

When I was in fifth grade, I decided I wanted to be an executioner, designed the costume, and my mom sewed it. I scared my teacher (I did!). This comic is in Monkey Food:


This year I was a post-catfight beauty pageant winner. See, there was this beauty pageant sponsored by Glade, on account of their new Carpet and Room Deodorizer fragrance, “Island Mist.” I said to myself, “Belynda? You may be a divorced single mother of two loser teenagers, and you may be stuck forever in Allentown, Pennsylvania, and it’s been a long time since winning the Pumpkin Queen crown.. but darn it, I want that year’s supply of Johnson Wax products, up to $1000! I use practically that much in Windex as it is!!

“And now it’s over and I WON, I WON, you hear that, Mindi??! Believe you me, I won fair and square, no matter what that nut job jealous bitch says. She tried to choke me and totally scratched my face, can you see? Jealousy is ugly. You hear that, Mindi?! U-G-L-Y, UGLY!!”


“Somebody get this ugly bitch off me!”


“My face! My beautiful face!”


“Fuck you, Mindi!!”

What a Genius Looks Like

This year’s big-deal Stranger Genius Awards ceremony/party was at the Henry Art Museum last Saturday night, and I was commissioned to paint gigantic portraits of the winners. Now I can say I showed my artwork at the Henry! Sort of. In any case, I painted the 4′ x 4′ portraits at brilliant illustrator Kathryn Rathke‘s Beacon Hill house, and for a week and a half became “the lady in the basement.” Her husband, Barry, would occasionally descend to hand me a SPECTACULAR cocktail, complete with garnish.

Here is the Lead Pencil Studio portrait on the wall right after I finished it, and the lot of them in situ, with Kathryn pondering and toasting them.







Commissioned portrait

When I had a show of my Big Paintings of Sexy Women at the Seattle Erotic Art Festival a few years ago, Audra approached me to do a similar portrait of her. Voila! It’s 3′ x 4′ (very big on the Ellen Forney scale) and 3″ deep (it’s a wooden structure and sticks out from the wall). The one I did of my friend Janet is on my COMMISSIONS page.